Lately I have been feeling so lonely. My parents obviously have each other, my brothers have their girlfriends but if they didn’t, they’d have each other, and I honestly do not have any friends worth putting effort into our relationship. Plus, my brothers are moving out. Together. What does this mean? I’m barely included now, so when they’re gone, I’ll practically be nonexistant. Whenever I think about this, I get so depressed.
Did I do this to myself? Did I push too many people away? Do I expect too much? Do I have some sort of attachment issue? My biggest question I have, and the one I fear having the answer to the most, is will I ever find happiness? True happiness. Where I can be myself and not have to lie or hide things. Where I can be honest, even with myself.
But I have found happiness. In someone. I think. She makes me happy. She’s funny, laughs at my lame jokes, and is incredibly sweet. Just one problem. She’s not mine and she never will be. I feel so fucked up for even having these kinds of feelings for her. Watch ”Dan in Real Life” and you’ll know what I mean. But at least he gets the girl…
